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Busted!

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

Busted!

I settle down to write this on an early deadline for this week’s mission as I lose brain cells to the drivel that is “Toddlers and Tiaras”, trying to drown out the drama that nearly ensued while we tried to recreate the appeal of not being caught.

Love Sexy Legi from a Dan of action’s flickr photostream.

After putting our kids in the bath (big surprise, I know), I threw on the shortest skirt I had and waltzed out to the living room to seduce Mr. Lee. He was getting ready for the big game, really. He’s joined an adult softball league and was pulling equipment out of his bag on the dining room table. I skirted around him seductively, even calling him the first jock name that came to mind, Steve, which he oddly objected to. I jumped to the next option that came to mind, Mike, and continued my irresistable seduction.

He tried to nudge me to the bedroom, but that’s way too adult for this challenge, so I gestured toward the couch (we didn’t have a waterbed or futon, and he lamely thought the 5-foot by 5-foot playhouse was unacceptable).

But, as we were about to start, I heard a noise in the other room. At first we thought it was the baby (23 months), who gets out of the bath often and is not yet of the age to be scarred for life by seeing his parents engaged in coitus like that odd Ragu commercial.

For good measure, I went to check. Peeking into the bedroom we were directly facing from the couch, I saw our shy, easily embarrassed five-and-a-half-year-old stealing away in the closet to find a different Lego man to play with in the bath.

Oh my hell. He. Would. Have. Died.

I told him he needed to get in the bath right away, which he did, then hustled as quickly as possible to complete my mission without accruing any future therapy bills. It was fun, but I swear the threat at this age scared me way more than when I played with boys when I was young.

Not that I ever did, of course. I’m Miss Lee, I would never.

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