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Full House

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

Full House

The fact I saw this month’s Cosmo and thought the cover girl was Selena Gomez shows how out of touch I am with popular culture. Lucy Hale? Never heard of her. But apparently she is one of the hottest things in Hollywood right now. Realization Numero Uno that I am marching closer towards the Bingo hall demographic than I am the Cosmo demographic. Darn it. I was once so nubile and early-twenty-something. Where do the years go?

Miss Lee tells me with a wink she already knows which one of the “25 sex moves he wishes you would do” she is going to initiate with Mr. Lee. Good for her. I read the list and I am exhausted by number 10, “claw my back”, “rubs my balls during oral”, “be aggressive”, “suck and bite my neck”. Phew, these boys want action. There is no “hey ladies, lie back and think of England whilst I sing love ballads and shower you with rose petals”. They want us to unleash our inner vampire.

So knowing that the sex-ometer needs to be turned up a notch, I try numbers 2 & 14 combined (get the mag, read it). Would be a powerful combo were it not for my choice of timing: 7am on a work day, the Duke hadn’t even had coffee and the dogs were dancing around our feet wanting their breakfast. High octane sexiness? Not so much.

Fast forward 24.5 hours, I play the number 25 card in the kitchen. The Duke looks at me through bleary eyes. Coffee is at least brewing, so that’s a start ,but within seconds Boy Duke comes thundering around the corner having just woken up. Abort mission immediately.

Fast forward another 24 hours to Sunday morning, Boy Duke is still sleeping and the dogs have gone back to bed after they realize I am not taking them for their 6:30am walk (seriously dogs, it’s a Sunday).  The Duke would still like to be sleeping, but I have other things in mind.  I still need to play a few more numbers before I win big and as the last two days have proven, timing is everything. So I get to work….I do love Bingo but when you have Cosmo to hand and you let the numbers do the talking reaching ‘full house’ is MUCH more fun.

 

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