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My Fine Young Cannibal

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

My Fine Young Cannibal

“Truth or Dare” holds a special place in my heart for its role as a catalyst in some of my early relationships and dating.

In middle school, it was the vehicle of choice to get my first boyfriend to express his feelings toward me, which turned out to be an avid hunger for making out. Little did I know that “Truth or Dare” isn’t really required to discover this fact about pubescent boys.

In college, I remember an all night game of “Truth or Dare” with friends in a hot tub that culminated at the end with a kiss I had been longing for from an exotic Aussie.

And of course, there’s the game I initiated with Mr. Lee on our first date in which his suggestion that I give him, and I quote, “A sensual shoulder massage,” led to me actually kissing him first – a fact that he still clings to.

Sucker that he is, he proposed another game a year later to the day and dared me to marry him. Not one to deny a challenge, I held him to it – three kids later, he’s wishing I had chosen “truth.”

Since I’m a pro, I thought this week’s mission would be a cinch, if only the Olympics hadn’t still been on. Thank heavens they’re over – my addiction to Bob Costas and the endless cornucopia of track & field, diving, volleyball, BMX, etc., etc., etc. meant that I didn’t ever get the kids to bed at a reasonable hour, or have the time to corner Mr. Lee into a match.

Twice I tried, but realized that there are truly no secrets between us. Not one. Unless you count the times I ask him whether I look fat in something that is literally oozing post-baby fat above the waist.

Dare-wise, the only things I could think of beyond what we’ve already done would have gotten my peace officer husband in trouble if it ever “got out” – which it would have considering I’m writing about it now.

In the end, the only daring things that happened at the Lee house this week were one, my five-year-old tricked Mr. Lee into having his toenails painted red with glitter; and two, my three-year-old ate a piece of my skin when peeling my recovering back. I’m pretty sure that makes her a cannibal, and utterly disgusting.

In case you’re wondering, she says it doesn’t taste like anything.

 

 

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  1. […] out by feet, but who believes he has beautiful feet for a man. I think his look like he’s a Baggins. And though I’ve succeeded in getting him to do many things he wouldn’t otherwise do […]

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