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Mission: Do It — Two Working Girls on the Verge of a Sexy Revolution

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

Latest Possibly Greatest POST-coital

Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da

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One year ago, this night, I sat on this couch. I had reached the end of Netflix, my patience, ideas to induce labor. After hemming and hawing to the point that even I was sick of the sound of my own voice, I had finally resigned myself to hit the pitocin and force that boy out.

About this time in the evening, my husband and I were sitting in the room on the hospital’s floor for mothers to tend to their pregnancies. Half at their wit’s end, like me, hoping against all hope that this pregnancy will be over soon by starting the induction cocktail. Half, tensely and optimistically really hoping against all hope that the pregnancy would not be over soon. Their babies needed more time on the inside.

Women from both teams would “go” that night, including me. I took one last picture of my husband as an expectant father. Sitting in the darkened room at Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas. He smiled an excited grin, flashing his darling dimple and gapped front teeth. He was busy obsessing about his new phone as I said, as I have said three times before, “You know, I think I’m having contractions.” And instead of waiting the rest of the night in angst trying to decipher what my body was trying to tell me, a glorious modern “Call the Midwife” angel came in, and checked my cervix. Just like that. Alas, I was at a 6-7, which meant my bed was soon on it’s way to labor and delivery. And so began the birth of my last child, in his own time.

The birth is his special story – perfect in it’s own way and recorded in a letter in a box for him. The baby is my special gift, representing so much of what is good and rewarding in being a parent. Tonight, he is sleeping in my bed, smelling of Gogurt and wearing the overalls my sister Amanda gave me as my first baby gift when I was pregnant with Lee 1.

When you grieve, they make much of the one year anniversary after “it”, whatever “it” may be, happens. And tonight, one year later, I pause to say goodbye to a period of my life that has exceeded all things precious in my mind and heart. Tonight is the one-year anniversary of my body’s last time being pregnant.

I am sure, truly sure I don’t want another. The possibilities of the life ahead (including the obligatory return to intimacy) bear so much promise – I’ve started working in the yard, playing sports and sewing again (helped, of course, by the fact that my parents have the top three Lees for five [count’em, five] weeks in Austin for Amanda Camp with their six to seven [depending on the day] cousins. They [my parents] built a ginourmous pool and needed help [yeah right] christening it).

Pause, precious baby is crying, will be back to finish after he’s handled.

My whole life, I’ve said, “When I have kids…”

That, you see, was the definitive accomplishment I was aiming for. Job, husband, house – those were all the accoutrements of the main life I envisioned, me as a young mom, pregnant and schlepping babies. Here I’ve lived it, and am now evolving for whatever comes next, which I haven’t really grasped, much less labeled. I don’t know that I qualify as an old mom just yet – not because the age offends me, but because I’m still pretty low on years of experience.

Recording the final days last summer.

Recording the final days last summer.

But there’s this horizon I’ve seen in the distance since I was pregnant with Lee 3. Now that I’ve reached it, I realize it’s mid-life.

And because our WHOLE lives we’ve ALWAYS heard it said with the word “crisis” behind it, we think it is something to fear.

Now that I’m here, I’m wondering if that wasn’t a Greenland/Iceland naming ruse, because I’m pretty sure everything about this new stage is awesome.

I just need a moment to mourn the incredible beauty and blessing of the one I’m leaving behind.

Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da.

Life goes on, ESPECIALLY when there’s the chance to celebrate a baby’s glorious first year of life. Bring on the Casa Linda Bakery buttercream frosting!

 

 

Mission 34: Something Purdy

Think of the occasions you’ve bought something pretty for of late: clothes for the kids to wear on Easter Sunday, a new black blazer for work, yoga pants that aren’t stained or torn. Now, think of the occasions you used to buy something pretty for. Inspired by the bedazzled stripper shoes the Duchess wore to the fancy […]

As Good as It Gets

My senior year of college, I wrote a paper about the movie “As Good as It Gets”. The assignment coincided with my life’s most dramatic romantic struggle between the obviously not meant for me boyfriend I kept as a crutch, and the Australian that had swooped in unexpectedly to remind me what romance could feel like. Tonight, as I was […]

Son of a…

The babysitter told me yesterday that Lee 2 looked out at the rain and said, “Son of a bitch.” I was astonished not because she had ever heard the expression, nor because she was so bothered by some light precipitation, but because she actually knew the end of the saying. I generally leave it at “Son of a…” […]

A Sense of Beauty

Mr. Lee and I got dolled up last weekend to go to a fancy schmancy wedding while my mother-in-law babysat. He wore his vintage Versace tie his mother gave him, and I wore my best jewels, which his mother had also given me. I got my nails done, indulging in the fancier “milk and honey” pedicure at […]

Mission 33: Role Play

The origins off Miss Lee’s pseudonym lie in an early role play she enacted with Mr. Lee, one she swears she’ll never disclose (and she’ll disclose ANYTHING). This week, pick two characters – cheerleader/football hero, nurse/patient, pool boy/lonely mafia wife – and let it play out. While the point is to have some fun with […]

Mission 32: O, It’s Magic

Not climaxing is the top sex complaint from women, and was the number one thing we heard from “Katie” viewers who reached out to us this week. Forget quantity, gimmicks and making sure he’s happy, this week it’s all about the quality for you. Mission 32 is to achieve the big O – no matter how long or what it […]

Filippo, The Duke And Me

It’s been a big week: another man joined us in the bedroom.  A hot Italian that was slick to the touch.  The Duke balked initially but as time went on he started to like the company.  Not only was our new companion a specialist in grilling, he was a whiz at skincare – my he […]

It’s Mario Time

I had two worries heading into this week. One, how little my eyes might look on the Katie Show because I was smiling so big. Two, how I was going to prevent any olive oil stains. Plenty of my maternity clothes feature grease stains on the northern hemisphere of my belly from french fries, Twisted […]

Mission 31: Olive Oil

Miss Lee used the words “vaginal dryness” and Duchess used the word “orgasm” in a taping on national television this week responding to clever questions posed by the charming Katie Couric (catch the show Monday, April 22). The conversation then turned to a suggestion by in-studio guests Kym Whitley of the OWN Network and expert Dr. Evelyn […]

PDA via PDA

Mr. Lee enjoyed a five-day fishing trip while I handled the kids this week. I try not to play the one-up game often, partly because I secretly think I have already beaten every living person in my too big head, but I really shined this week. Among the three kids, a swelling belly, an intense day […]