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S&M

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

S&M

S&M in the Lee household translates to surgery and a movie, both of which could be considered sadistic and masochistic in their own right.

Mr. Lee was scheduled to have sinus surgery on Thursday, which will at some point (I hope) translate into less snoring and more bed-sharing in our home. He abuses Afrin the way I abuse fountain coke from Sonic, so I also look forward to the day where I don’t have to see him shoving bottles up his nose on a daily basis. Instead, I picked him up on Thursday at noon to discover he had replaced the bottle with a bloody gauze. As we waved goodbye to the darling Dr. Frank, who had performed his surgery, I asked if he was still up to seeing the movie that night.

I realized then that this single mission may have erased all the good will of missions 1 through 10 put together. While I had banked on his post-anesthesia haze seeing us through the 100 minutes of “Hope Springs”, I hadn’t counted on our Plowhand babysitter, who saw us through our sex shop visit, falling through at the last minute.

But then, a playdate popped up on Friday, and I was able to farm out the third child in time for us to catch the 10:50 show. We rushed across town, I bought my popcorn, and then we wandered the 18 theaters at the megaplex looking for the right one. Mr. Lee, who at this point had only a small tissue that looked like a piece of popcorn hanging out his nose, was only slightly irritated, until I realized I had checked the times Thursday night before they had been updated on Friday morning.

Oops. We had 40 minutes to burn, so I walked into “Total Recall” to kill the time, and he left the theater to visit Dick’s Sporting Goods across the street. So far, so not good.

He fetched me five minutes before our movie began, and we walked into a theater that, gasp!, had other men in it. Either we have more readers than I thought (doubtful), or Tommy Lee and Meryl brought out the masses. I’d say 75 percent were couples, albeit 20 years older than us, which Mr. Lee made sure to comment on. I, in turn, had to comment many times during the movie about how Mr. Lee Jones’ character, Arnold, was a perfect compilation of Mr. Lee and Grandpa Lee (my father) put together.

There were several laugh out loud moments, which Mr. Lee joined in on (and later acknowledged – his favorite came from Arnold’s co-worker), and several moments where you wholly related to the issues the couple was facing. Thankfully, there were several I couldn’t relate on too (Mr. Lee knows better than to tell me he’s ever fantasized about a threesome with a neighbor). But mostly, I felt validation in realizing that the Duchess and I are not alone in our mission, and that Steve Carrell’s Dr. Feld, believes in challenges (translation: missions).

Despite claims that marriage is a failing institution, there are so many that are willing to put it all on the line to save love, no matter how old, tired or familiar it may be. Sometimes, that may mean Pop Rocks for him, and other times, just going to a chick flick for her.

Bravo Mr. Lee, the credit for this mission belongs to you.

Trackbacks

  1. […] After a sleepy week, and one rife with the demands of getting a kindergartener ready for school (ironically, I spent three days looking for my son’s belt), our life has been distracted from the bedroom of late. The mid-week pause to fulfill this week’s mission left me flush and giddy. Mr. Lee was a little less grumpy considering he still feels like hell from his surgery. […]

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