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The Beast Infection

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

The Beast Infection

The Duchess has been “on” me for weeks to get back on the horse. Between you and me, I think Mission 27 was a ploy to get me back in the game since the morning sickness and life derailed me in December. I’ve even gotten threatening text messages and voice mails. But the real trick to getting me back on the horse was far simpler. A yeast infection.

My sisters and I used to laugh at a story my mom told about one of her friends who only enjoyed sex when she had a yeast infection, a story I learned before I really “got”  it, i.e. I had had neither a yeast infection nor sex. Fast forward to today when it has been 15 years since I suffered the discomfort of a yeast infection, which I’ve learned is a small miracle having been through three pregnancies. But along with being my one demon spawn to give me morning sickness, this little boy (yes, a third boy), also reminded me about that whole “business” with my business.

It took me a few days to figure out if it was one for sure. Usually, the visual we girls are all familiar with is enough, but I can’t see my lady parts for said boy being in my way (I lost my napkin eating lunch the other day only to find it 30 minutes later nestled under the bump). After three days of suspecting and refusing to take a mirror between my legs, I caved while Mr. Lee was wrestling with the brake pads at 9:00 p.m. under the watchful eye of a neighbor in the driveway. I rushed the kids to bed and ran, literally  ran, to the Family Dollar at the end of our street. In addition to a generic seven-day treatment, I purchased some Tums, milk and popsicles. Did I mention I’m pregnant?

Yeah, I went there.

Yeah, I went there.

I started treatment with the Miconazole that night and went to bed to avoid the drama that is Mr. Lee and any project. The next day, however, feeling a bit better, I thought back to my mother’s friend and the sheer joy any friction would give me at that point. A bit disgusted, he couldn’t hide the glint in his eye at my eagerness, and he submitted. Holy hell it felt good. Like dog getting his belly rubbed good. So good, that I made him repeat the next day to the same ecstatic groans from me.

Yes, I groaned from sex AND had sex two times in one week. How’s that for getting back on the horse, or rather, the beast…infection?


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