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The Sex Shop Whip & Not Much Tickle

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

The Sex Shop Whip & Not Much Tickle

Before Mission Two: Journey to the Sex Shop commenced, I had to come clean to the Duke.  I had to tell him why I wanted him to come with me to the sex shop in the middle of the day.  After much coaxing, cajoling and promises that this will remain anonymous, he agreed to come on this Mission: Do It journey with me.  But on one condition:  I owe him another blow job.  It seems the Duke can be bribed pretty easily. 

So, clapping my hands in glee we arranged to meet at the sex shop the next morning after my breakfast meeting had ended.

Friday morning at 10:45AM is an odd time to go to a sex shop with your husband. Quite frankly it needs to be at night, or with a few drinks inside us.  His coffee had barely sunk in.  I was in my smart work suit and we stuck out like a sore thumb.  I tottered into ‘Condoms To Go’ pulling his arm like I do with my dog when she doesn’t want to walk in the rain.  He was mortified and expressed that this was the most uncomfortable he has been in a very long time.  It looked like he was about to break out into hives. I, on the other hand, over compensated and gaily commented on every little contraption that adorned the shelves.  My sex therapist mother would have been proud.

We saw a vibrating cock ring and nearly went for that, but being British I saw the price tag and thought $29 was too pricey (god forbid I spend money on pleasure!).  So we ended up picking out a ‘Whip & Tickle’ and the Duke hightailed it out of that shop, probably never to return.

So, that night we pulled the Whip & Tickle out of it’s black plastic bag and I started to wave it up and down the Duke’s body.  The wrist action made me feel like a cleaner catching at cobwebs.  Not so erotic.  So I tried lightly whipping his manhood.  Hmmm, that turned out to be not so erotic for him either.   He tried it on me.  The tickle tickled but nope, I wasn’t gushing.  At that point, we both literally fell asleep.  Out for the count.  It was as though the Whip & Tickle had drugged us into a deep slumber.  Not quite the outcome we were hoping for.   It remains on our bedroom chair and I have a feeling that it will come in very handy once another mission gets underway and the excitement has already built…..

The moral of this story.  Don’t be British.  If you see a vibrating cock ring and you want to buy it, do.  Spending that extra $13 is worth it!

Trackbacks

  1. […]  Friday night sex.  Check.  Mmmmm… that was nice.   We even got out the Whip & Tickle from Mission 2 – MUCH more successful this time around, thank goodness. So we had blast […]

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