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“Where did that come from?”

Two professional women: both married with kids and both juggling clients, reports, potty training, packed lunches, chores, dogs, cats, errands, husbands and …”what was that you said? SEX?”
That three-letter word that once was so frequent, so liberating, so yummy has been sidelined in a sea of life, work and snot.
It is time.
Time to put sex back on a pedestal by injecting some extra spice into our relationships.

“Where did that come from?”

I tell Mr. Lee the missions at the first of the week, and usually am met with a snide remark about how ridiculous I am, which is true.

For the sexting mission, I waited until Thursday to execute, hoping it would allow him time to possibly forget why I was doing it. Sometimes, he doubts my genuine interest in performing the missions, thinking I’m more a slave to the Duchess and this blog. Sometimes, he’s right.

Knowing he can forget things I tell him within minutes – i.e. milk at the store, red hoodie at Academy (yes, Academy), child at school – I was sure he’d forget why I was sending him randy texts. He did, for a moment, beginning at 8:03 a.m. yesterday:

Miss Lee: I really enjoyed spanking you.

Mr. Lee: Where did that come from?

Miss Lee: I keep picturing you above me.

Mr. Lee: Why are thinking [sic] about it? The Lee friends are coming by tonight. I told them were [sic] busy, but are talking about going to game.

Miss Lee: How’s Lee 3? How long did he cry?

Miss Lee: I’m thinking about it because it makes me wet.

Mr. Lee: He is grumpy, threw a big git [sic] pulling items out of the cabinet, but for only 10 minutes.

Miss Lee: I think it’s funny when he throws things. Even though it is bad.

Mr. Lee: I dont [sic].

Miss Lee: I think it’s sexy when you lie on my bed naked noonoo after sex.

Mr. Lee: I am, I like when you whence [sic] when it hurts.

Miss Lee: You’re lying on our bed after sex?

Miss Lee: It feels good to cause you pain.

Mr. Lee: I don’t feel pain.

Miss Lee: Let me spank you more. I want to bind you and leave marks.

Mr. Lee: Whatever. Do some work.

Miss Lee: Send me a picture of your doodle.

Mr. Lee: You would show all of your office

Miss Lee: I promise I won’t. Promise.

Mr. Lee: Dont [sic] trust you.

Miss Lee: I swear. Please.

Mr. Lee: Keep begging.

Miss Lee: I’ll show you mine.

I learned later when our sexting resumed that he had actually taken the picture, almost got caught doing it by our three-year-old, and deleted it when he realized almost getting caught was a sign that a picture of his doodle in my possession was probably not a good idea. Again, sometimes he’s right.

Though I failed to get his digital junk, the record of our sext-capade does teach you five very important details.

1. Sexting in the course of a normal conversation confuses the issues and players. “You’re lying on our bed after sex?”

2. Trying to make sexts safe for discovery by using words like “doodle” and “naked noonoo” isn’t at all effective.

3. Mr. Lee makes a lot of typographical errors.

4. Mr. Lee doesn’t trust me (with good reason considering the last picture I shared of him).

5. I may have recently used a belt in the bedroom á la Christian Gray…and liked it.


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